Don't make enemy with talkative aunties!

It is very common to see stall owners of hawker center make enemy with each other in Singapore. This is particularly evident for drink stall owners. I always feel very amused by one particular drink stall aunty in Geylang East Central hawker center. She mainly sells deserts but does sell a few type of drinks. When we sit near her stall to eat chicken rice, we usually order drinks from her neighbor stall. She will always grumble about her neighbor (just 3 stalls away from her stall) in sarcastic manner. In one ocassion, she told us her neighbor would not bother to keep their drink fresh. She quoted an example saying they keep their longan (龙眼) overnight for many days and use it to sell to their customers. She asked us not to drink from her neighbor stall as the water is taken from "drainage". Whether it is true or pure slander, some of us who heard her comments dare not order drinks from her neighbor anymore. I think this aunty must have told many people about the same thing.

Today I ate at the hawker center again after I finished swimming. I decided not to order any drink from the stall due to psychological effect or just in case something wrong with their drinks. How her neighbor's business is impacted by her slander or sarcastic remark? It is immeasurable!

In my opinion, the aunty's sarcastic remark is > 50 % due to their bad relationship rather than the unhygienic practice of her neighbor. Next time, if you run your own drink/food stall business in hawker center or any other small businesses, the last thing you want to do is make enemy with your neighbor esp talkative aunties. Guess what is the first thing you should do?

The curious case of a special friend

I know a friend who just uncovered the history of his family. Most importantly, he got to know who his real mum is and what happened to his mum. For the first time in his life, he asked his father about the events that took place twenty over years ago. His father married his mum many years ago and gave birth to him. He was a very difficult baby to look after in the first 6 months as baby. He kept on crying and crying all days and nights. It was the mum's first child and she didn't have the experience taking care of a baby. She was so stressed that she cried together with the baby. His father visited home once a week as his work place was far from home. One fine day, his father was informed his wife had committed suicide by jumping into the river in the town. At that time, the baby was only 3-month old. His father didn't quarrel with his mum. Nobody knew the exact reason she killed herself. According to his father, his mother was very gentle, quiet and submissive girl and she was deeply loved and treasured by his grand-parents.

His father married his step-mother 6-months later to take care of him. The family had been concealing the matter under the carpet all these years. His grandma does not love the step-mother as much and has prejudice against her and her two step-sisters. The matter would be briefly or accidentally brought up when there is heated argument in the family. This friend would not investigate the details further and he would continue to treat his step-mother as his real mum (though he knew in his heart she was not). He did not dare to ask the true story because traditional Chinese culture does not encourage people to discuss or mention about bad things that happened in the past.

This friend had always felt something missing in his life. He had constantly felt he was short of real and tangable mother's love. However, after he uncovered the true story of his mum, he felt as if he has just found his true identify. He was touched simply by knowing his mum had ever loved him in the first 3 months of his life. It must have been tough for his mum to take care of him. He felt that his real mother's blood is in him and he wants to live his life well to love his deceased mum. His deceased mum would want him to live well and be loved. Thank God this friend is a Christian and he is deeply loved by Jesus. When he goes up to heaven, he hopes to meet his mum and ask her what exactly happened at that time. Unknowingly he has lived longer than his mum now if count by the number of years they lived.

Mother's Day Home Trip - Part 2

Before departure to Singapore At KLIA

Karen at 友明seafood restaurant her Proton Saga as backdrop

Maggie rubs the bell to create humming sound at Jenjarom Thai Buddhist Temple

Ah Bi with flower adorning her at Jenjarom Thai Buddhist Temple

'Dim Sam' breakfast at Jenjarom

Honey Crab at 日夜兴

Mother's day dinner at 日夜兴 seafood restaurant

Mahjong at my house

Peanut toast at Lavender Cafe

PengKiat and MengLee at Lavender Bread Cafe at Bukit Tinggi Shopping Mall

Everyday is Mother's Day to my dad

View from right side of my house

View from left side of my house

My humble house and car in Banting

Mother's Day Home Trip - Part 1

I went back to my hometown last Saturday and returned lastnight. It was a last-minute arrangement. I felt I could tap on the Vesak replacement holiday on Monday and spend extended time with my family. Overall, the trip was good though it was a little too long. I was getting very bored on the last day and could not wait to come back to Singapore!

My bus ride on Saturday was terrible. It took me 9 hours. This is how - 6 hours from SIN to Klang, 2 hours stuck at Klang area, 1 hour from Klang to Banting. They changed the long-distance bus interchange to a new location at 中路. I've got to take a cab to go to old bus interchange to take another bus. It is so convenient! According to my cab driver, many people protested and are still protesting about the authority's move. Furthermore, the traffic congestion and road/bridge condition is very messy now. They are still constructing a new bridge to smoothen the traffic flow and it will not be finished soon. I decided not to take bus ride anymore in future.

I met a couple of old secondary school friends who live in Klang. One of my friends is very established in his career and life now. He started his own business in the U.S five years ago and is expanding his enterprise across the globe especially the European continent and the Middle East. He is hiring 7 persons to work in his office in Klang. One and a half year ago, he only hired 2 persons. He has a business partner in the U.S. who is in-charged of the operation there. They can execute their businesses and operations around the clock. Their customer orders keep coming in from all over the world and they hired Fedex to ship their goods everyday in contract agreement. The growth potential seems to be huge and unstoppable now.

My friend also mentioned about the hardship he went through in the first 2 ~ 3 years. After his graduation at Kansas University, he worked for other people and designed website for them. He learned the business model his employer used, got to meet clients and grasped the opportunity to run his own from there. Besides his career, he also acquired one shop house for his warehouse and office, one 2 and 1/2 storey house at Bukit Tinggi and two cars. His achievement really caught the attention of my other friends who do not meet him for longer time. They are amazed and wondered how this guy did it.

It took some times for my mind to accept this 'changed' friend. Upon further reflection, I realized it is not so much about his great ability that he achieved so many successes. It is the environment (the U.S) he lived in that made him so enterpreneurer. The environment encourages people to take risk and being open-minded. It is about grasping opportunity whenever or wherever it arises. I guess it is about living our life fully as if there may be no tomorrow. If we view life this way, we will wipe off all our unwanted worries and prepared to take on opportunities.

'Holding' the audience - the art of communication

I am not a very confident public speaker. I often feel trembling when asked to give a presentation or speech to large group of people. In the past few weeks I evaluated and improved this area in my work place and caregroup. I attend my company's weekly meeting with seniors and managers. I participate in the meeting to report the KPI of my function, review other function's KPI and discuss ideas to solve problem. In the church, I led discussion and chaired caregroup program. Though the group size is smaller, I consider it as good training ground before I speak to a larger group of people.

I learned something about 'holding' the audiences when we speak to them. Holding them means we are fully engaged with them during the delivery. Here are some tips I discoverd:

• We have to be very clear of what we want to deliver and what we want the audience to receive. Planning is required most of the time.
• We have to connect with the audience by being relax, friendly, be ourselves, humorous and personal if possible.
• Observe and pay attention to the audience at all times!
• Be self-confident!
• Finally, it is not about ourselves; it is about others. No matter what happened, take it easy and see the bright side of life!

The Beauty and Power of our Five Senses

One of the greatest gifts God has given human is their five senses: ears that can hear, eyes that can see, mouth that can taste, nose that can smell, and skins that can feel. All these senses receive information constantly and send it to our brain. Our brain is like the CPU (Central Processing Unit) of computer. Once our brain receives the information, it interpretes it and responds to it.

The senses we use frequently are hearing and seeing. But do we maximize the usage of these two senses all the time? I think no. Our mind may be idle or asleep even when we are physicall awake. As a result, we are not very alert and sensitive to the surrounding, happening and people. This will eventually affect our effectiveness to achieve something great in life. We need to constantly be alert, watch and observe by hearing and seeing in order to help ourselves and others. Do not waste this precious gift given by God!

Love vs. Fear

By nature all of us have fears. We fear for different reasons such as below:

• Health deterioration
• Money not enough/Losing our job and income
• Loneliness
• How people perceive us
• Losing our ability, power and influence
• Failure and defeat
• Weakness
• Uncertain future
• Many many......

Fear is harmful. Fear controls and cripples our lives slowly even without our notice. Fear limits us to live life to the fullest. Fear makes us lose our patience easily. Fear causes us to take matters on our own hand. Fear induces us to make rash and unwise decision. Fear is a trap set up by the devil. Once we fall into it, we are in its vicious circle and it has no end to it.

I thank Jesus for saving me from the chain of fears. His unconditional love always satisfy my deepest needs. When I fall in love with Him, I feel as if I have overcome all things in life, even death. When I feel fearful, I don't allow fear to control my mind. I call upon Jesus who will never leave me or abandon me, who loves me and knows what I am going through - my struggle, my pain, my feeling, my thought, my burden, my everything. He really cares for me.

1 John 4:18b - But perfect love drives out all fear. This verse summarizes everything I said above.

Something about my hobbies

Swimming is a very good sport. It helps to reduce stress and refresh the mind. MM LKY at one period of his life swimmed very morning. No wonder his mind is always so sharp despite living in his old age. I am determined to swim twice a week to exercise my body and refresh my mind.

I really love the DSLR camera I bought two weeks ago. It can shoot photo incredibly fast - in less than 20ms. I love to capture the funny shots and eye-catching moments of event. Picture really speaks thousand words so I posted many pictures in Jedi's blog. I bring it whenever possible so I can utilitize the equipment for maximum "investment return". As I am a beginner, I still have tons of knowledge to learm about photography. My room-mate, shepherd CN, many colleagues and friends also know photography better than me. I can tap on their experience and knowledge in my learning journey.

Footprints

Below is a Christian poem that I like a lot. I shared it with the people when I led praise and worship last CG.

Footprints

One night I had a dream--I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, one belonged to me and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before me,I looked back at the footprints in the sand.I noticed that many times along the path of my life,there was only one set of footprints.I also noticed that it happened at the very lowestand saddest times in my life. This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,you would walk with me all the way,but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my lifethere is only one set of footprints. "I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,you should leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,I love you and I would never, never leave youduring your times of trial and suffering. "When you saw only one set of footprints,it was then that I carried you."

...Mary Stevenson

Making Our Relationships 'Fireproof'

The 'Fireproof' movie screening presented by our district lastnight taught me a lot of things about relationship.

1. Love is not a feeling. Love is a decision. When Caleb decided to do anything to salvage his marriage, he followed the suggestion given by the lovedare book to love his wife eventhough he didn't feel like doing it.

2. "Do not leave your partner when there is a fire" the famous quote of the movie. He learned this from his profession - fireman. A broken relationship can be amended. So do not give up.

3. Persevere on when things get tough and when we don't see the expected result. I feel sad for Caleb when Catherine does not respond to his love acts after 20 days or so. The relationship seems to get worse after all that he had tried. The breakthrough came finally when he surrendered all his life to God.

4. Coach people to handle relationship problem and be with them throughout the journey. I admired the way Caleb's father guided him to go through the tough times. His father is so loving and patient toward his son. He prayed for him regularly. He visited his son from a long distance when his son feels very discouraged. What a wonderful father!

5. We can't love more than we are loved. We can't forgive more than we are forgiven. When we know Jesus' love, forgiveness, we know how to love and forgive others.

The Art of Relating with People

Relating with people is one of the most important aspects of our lives, if not the most important aspect. I have come to learn the following principles in somewhat a hard way:

1. Be natural - God created each one of us uniquely. Everyone is so special in the eyes of God and so loved by Him. We don't have to compare ourselves with others and pursue some standards that God do not set for us.

2. Accept others - Before we can build any relationship, we will have to learn to accept people as they are. Do not judge people too early based on their outward appearance, social status, wealth, etc...We will not appreciate them when we start to perceive people negatively. When we know how God accepts us when we do not deserve it, we will know how to accept others.

3. Interested about others - God loves us and he know every detail of each individual. He even know the numbers of our hair! When we know how much God interested about our lives, we will be interested about others as well.

These are very basic principles. But they will bring us a long way.

Jackie Chan Incident

I unexpectedly met Jackie Chan when I went to Vivocity this Monday evening.

He showed up on stage to promote his latest movie Shinjuku Incident. The place was so crowded. He gave some short speeches to the crowd and then left the stage. When I headed to the basement foodcourt, I happened to have close proximity with him as he also walked down to the basement car park. Then I and a few others stood along the barricade to wait for him to pass by. We waved at him at a distance when he passed by. He came over to give a pad on our hands and ran up to his van! I think I was lucky to meet him in real person for the first time and had a chance to get 'close' to him. Sometimes life is full of surprises.

Wisdoms from Ecclesiastes

I am in the middle of reading Ecclesiastes and I really love this book. Below are some wisdoms I extracted which is very relevant to my life. I hope you enjoy them as well.

Eccl 7:10 - Don't say, "Why were things better in the good old days?" It isn't wise to ask that kind of question.
I think this verse is warning us against dwelling in the past - the good old days. We must not love our past. We must always look forward to the next best thing to come.

Eccl 8:6 - There's a proper time and way for people to do everything. That's true even though a man might be suffering greatly.
We have to do everything properly when required even though we might be suffering greatly from things such as personal issue, trouble, bad mood, etc...I know this is tough but by God's help it can be trained. This is especially important in our professional job.

Eccl 8:9b - A man sometimes makes life hard for others. But he ends up hurting himself.
We must not make life hard for others. Otherwise we will end up hurting ourselves. I think this is basic rule for building good relationship but we must be careful not to subtly fall into the trap of making life difficult for others.

Eccl 8:14-15 - Here's something else on this earth that doesn't have any meaning. Sometimes godly men get what sinful people should receive. And sinful men get what godly people should receive. Here's what I'm telling you. That doesn't have any meaning either. So I advise everyone to enjoy life. A man on this earth can't do anything better than eat and drink and be glad. Then he will enjoy his work. He'll be happy all the days of the life God has given him on earth.
I think Solomon is trying to tell us the importance of enjoying and living life to the fullness everyday. Don't ever live our day by comparing our "righteousness" with other people and the "reward" we are supposed to receive for being "righteous". We will end up being very unhappy because God does not promise fairness. He only promised justice. Our duty is to obey the Lord and follow His lead everyday. We must not use our wealth and status to measure our level of righteousness because such formula does not exist.

Eccl 9:10 - No matter what you do, work at it with all your might. Remember, you are going to your grave. And there isn't any work or planning or knowledge or wisdom there.
No matter what we do, we must work at it with all our heart and might. We can't do it when we are in our grave. Isn't this make perfect sense?

The Art of Surrendering to God

Surrendering to God means we must learn to "let go, and let God". It's about laughing at ourselves when we make a foolish mistake, face with weakness and failure, feel incapable and powerless. It's about not taking our selves too seriously. It's about acknowledging our shortcomings and inadequacies to learn from each experience.

It's about not dwelling too long in our successes and becoming concerned about our status, recognition, reputation and wealth. It's about moving on to do the next important task God calls us to do.

Surrendering to God also means forgiving others when they offended us. It's about seeking understanding and love instead of judgment. It's about thinking to ourselves, "I know I am a sinful person. Perhaps I did something that created misunderstanding and caused the person to treat me the undesirable way. I must give benefit of doubt to the person. I must seek to know and understand the person better to save and rebuild the relationship"

In other words, surrendering to God is about forgetting ourselves, focusing on God and others.

Proposed Trip to Mt. Kinabalu

Anyone wants to take a break in the second half of this year? Are you interested to get to the highest point (4095.2m) in South East Asia?

According to officials, the wetter season runs from October to February and the dryer season from March to September. Wet wheather is not suitable for climbing. So I propose we go there in Aug or Sep period.

It is one of the easiest mountain to climb in the world. Do you believe it? However, you must be physically fit to endure some challenging areas as steep as 45%. The reward is you get to enjoy a lot of beautiful and breathtaking sceneries throughout the climbing.

4day/3night is needed if we don't want to rush. Further, we also can spend one day in Kota Kinabalu city to experience the local cultures and foods. The total cost of the trip can be as low as below S$500. Accomodation must be booked at least 4 months before to the trip. (I intended to go in May but it seems to be too late to do the booking)

For those who like outdoor activities and adventures, this is MUST GO!!! Drop me a message if you are interested to go by end of April.

The below website contains a lot of details of the Mt. KK climbing.

http://www.mount-kinabalu-borneo.com/index.html